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This journal amuses me, more of the fact that I don't ever seem to remember that I have it or that I use it. :) I know that its really important to express yourself and open up, blah blah blah. Its just not me, and Id rather someone ask me whats goin on and that I naturally spill the beans. when in reality, I only say what I need to say and not always whats really goin on and really important. :) I got an A on my first math test.

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Its 3am and a find myself at work searchin for a non downloadable online rpg game, really? What's my deal-am I a gamer now? I didn't think rpg could be so fun, I'm so excited that I even use the abbreviation rpg. Ever since playin that game with my sis, rpg has definately caught my attention. I don't care if I'm a nerd, I like it. It makes me want to get a wii and get the zelda game. I really want it bad, just so that I can go fishin on the game and on top of that the wii has a cabellas fishin game. OMG...I'm gettin myself so excited just thinkin the wii and all it's possibilities.

I'm a little nervous for school to start back, I feel like I need to get organized as soon as wednesday and straighten up my room. Well, at least clear off some desk space to do homework. I'm more so nervous cause the classes are goin to be harder and sometimes it can be hard to concentrate with not enough sleep. I just got to get past that I guess, overcome not gettin enough sleep and just accept it. I CAN HANDLE IT, I'M TOUGH.

I'm waitin for Runescape to load...that's runescape.com in case you wanted to check it out too. It takes forever to load though.

Today is my sis's bday, I am so excited that I got to take the night off work cause I had a comp day to use from workin the holidays.
I am goin to get her flowers right after work, I hope she likes em. I have never given her flowers.

OMG...Its still loadin. I guess. I hope I didn't wait for all this time of loadin for it to be lame. Or it could be lame that I am loadin it in the first place. I feel like I should have a "fanny pack" right now.  Okay, just kiddin that game is lame and I don't understand it. I want to play zelda so bad right now. I wish I had a wii.

I found this link to this ftm site and I made an account. It seems to be like a myspace for ftm's. You can earn badgesm like pogo.com-does anyone else go on that site? I also feel like a nerd cause I have a paid membership to pogo.com and it's $30 a year-I doubt I will buy another one after a year cause I am pretty sure that it was a mistake gettin it. Cause really how much online gamin can someone really consume?

The link is http://mensroom.ning.com if anyone wants to check it out.

Well, I think that's it for now. I feel like I'm ramblin...I can't wait until the 9th.


I startin workin on this last night but I didn't finish it but I thought that I would include it in todays journal....

I am so beat. I hear a faint ringin of my alarm when I'm no where near it-I don't know why I hear it at work and it's only when I'm real tired. G gave me my sock monkey that he's been workin on, today. He has a special arm because G had lost one of the original arms and had to make a new one out of what he had to use. That just makes it that much more special. I haven't had a lot of friends make things for me, I like it more than if someone buys somethin because they spent time workin on it and I feel like I appreciate it more, but not in a mean way...if that makes sense.



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I had a great christmas and I'm plannin on havin a great new years. I'll be havin company at new years and we're goin to stay in drink some champagne and watch movies, play cards...we have yet to figure all that out.

I finally know all my results from 1st semester. Let me break it down for ya.

Reading-94%

Adev-100%

Math-88%

English-Passed

Who would've thought that I would have made it through a semester of college and pass all my classes. Personally, I could have more confidence in myself. I underestimate myself on occasion, I got to get away from that.

So, what I don't love about winter is that my hands get so dry and crack and bleed, it blows. Lotion doesn't help-it only iritates my skin. I'm sure I'll get over it...but it fucken hurts alot. :(

I start my new position on next friday, I'm a little nervous but I know I can do it. I can do anythin that's put in front of me. Yeah, Yeah that's the spirit. :)

(no subject)

WhooooooWeeeee! Man, I made it back here without gettin dragged. This journal deal might work out after all, or we can not judge from just a few entires, or can we? j/k Well, after gettin a 99/100 on my geometry test I am still left with just a few points short of not havin to take my math final. So, tommorow is the big day- i could do just enough to cover those points-but why not do my best and see what I can get? Whether its a pass/fail or not- I am sittin at an A, why not keep it that way with a good solid study for that test? Well, I will have you keep you updated. My final grades for Reading is 94-Pass, Adev is 100-Pass, and Math in standin right now is a 90-and that's before the final, I am not sure of English yet-I didn't get a whole lot of direction from my English teacher.

My classes start back up on Jan 9th. I will be takin 5 classes, 2 of which are online. I'm stoked. I don't want to sell my books, I feel like I'm goin to need em for somethin or other.

Grrr.....I'm tired of this binder rollin up every time I stretch. Let me just say this...one day.

Also, with gettin the next size bigger for a binder so that I don't suffocate was a good idea, but now it might be to big and rubs me the wrong way and makes it comfortable. I'm not complainin, just makin an announcment.

It's only 2:45a? FUCK...this is goin to be a long ass shift.

I went and saw 3 movies back-to-back on Sunday and I only paid for the first one. Oooooooooh NAUGHTY! haha yeah right. I don't even remember all the movies that I saw....but I do remember that I saw Cadillac Records, and it was the best movie to end 2008.

For the record, it is now 3:20a and I have been doin a mix of paperwork, games, and everythin else but tryin to finish this entry. I feel that I am not done with it yet and that I still got somethin to say or at least update on.

Oh yeah, so we had some budget cuts at work and they are iliminatin my position but they still want to keep me and so they are makin room for me in another program-I'm stoked. I start on the 2nd. I'm excited that they want me to stay and made room for me.

Ah well, wait for some updates.

(no subject)

Yeah, so much for takin the journal thing seriously. I mean I want to write/journal and get everythin out rather than leave it all inside, but do I need to set an alarm to do it. Maybe I should? Maybe, I should just have an alarm for everythin...if that's what it's goin to take than maybe that's what I will need to do. I know that I will always have somethin to write about cause I always have somethin on my mind. I'm definately not absent minded. I'm sure that means somethin completely different than what I meant it to mean. I feel like I'm sayin a riddle sometimes.

Well, thursday will be my last day of my first semester all cept for a final that I am not sure if I will have to take, I sure hope that I don't cause it's for Math, and I don't like it at all. I know that I have to do some to get through college though, so I just go to get over it-maybe than it might be easier for me if I pretend to like it. I hope to be passin all my classes, I'm a little worried about English-but my instructor said that I have nothin to worry about, I guess I will find out when the final pass/fail posts to the site. I'm amazed on how fast the credits add up. That 2 years can be possible. But I did find out that if I want to go to college during the summer that I will have to save my financial aid that I have left over from Fall/Spring in order to go, I wish I knew that before I didn't save money from Fall semester, but who knows how much money I can save from Spring or just workin. I would be happy with at least 1 class, rather than none.

I'm just glad that I have stuck with school and haven't backed out or not gone to class, I'm pretty damn proud of myself for what I have done so far.

Maybe it is all goin to work out and fall into place...
  • Current Mood
    tired tired

(no subject)

Okay, so this is like my 4th LJ that I have established. I am not sure why I keep closin them, it might have to do with me thinkin that I am goin to vent and communicate with people in finding ways to cope with obstacles in my life and than not followin through with it. This time around I am not goin to set any expectations for myself and just "roll" with it. Perhaps, joinin some communities might help. So who knows, maybe I'll write alot, maybe I won't.

I'm guessin that I might write more than I have before in the past just because the fact that I am maturin and workin with myself better. I am consistent with therapy and so I might have alot more thoughts in my head to journal. I definately always have somethin goin on in my mind. 

Like right now...

Okay, so I got alot on my plate as for a schedule, I'M NOT COMPLAININ, I am goin to school fulltime and I work fulltime. I love doin both and I still want more even though I'm not gettin alot of sleep-I have a feelin that it's definately goin to catch up with me after a while. Not havin enough sleep can have a huge effect on your body. It has had an effect on both my job and school. I have missed two deadlines for a class, but I am still in the 90% range-plus it's a PASS/NO CREDIT CLASS, so I have plenty of space to not fail. But personally, I would like to keep an A in that class. All my classes I feel that way for. Out of the classes that I know my percentage, I am doin good-I am doin my best just got watch "dropbox" times for my assignments and not procrastinate. Also, I was late to work tonight-like and hour and a half late. I forgot to set my alarm before I laid down to take my nap. I should just have it set ahead of time so that all I have to do is press a button. 

I have changed alot since I turned 24, at least I think so. Well when I was 23, I said I wasn't goin to college or that I might go to college for Carpentry...WTF? I have no idea where I came up with that idea? IDIOT! Especially when my career goal is workin with youth. So now I am goin to school for youth studies and also I got me a kick ass job workin with youth. I am consistent with therapy when I wasn't before. I am glad that my therapist is patient with me, I appreciate her in my life. 

I don't take people's shit anymore or give any attention to my half-ass friends. I used to, mostly not anymore because I don't have the time to. I am more focused on my life and where it's goin and also my attitude towards where I'm at. I could probably make a long ass list but I'm goin to save that for another day or at least when I brainstorm for them. 

OKAY, hope you likee.